I remember Tommy. I will never forget the important lesson I learned from his example, although it had to be explained to me in simple terms a kid could understand, which was with patience and understanding towards people who behave in unpredictable ways. It wasn't until much later in life, after many, similar examples, that I understood the condition diagnosticly. Tommy had Asperger syndrome (AS), or another autism spectrum disorder (ASD). I feel a little guilty having participated in teasing him, but he took it in stride, and we loved him.
I have thought about Tom a lot over the years, especially one memory, and so far, I have avoided sharing it but here goes....
It happened at the rehearsal for one of those huge choral ensemble events, when the New Trier orchestra played in front of the basketball court bleachers, which were filled with rows and rows of Freshman, Sophmore, Jr. and Sr. choirs massed behind them. At one break in the rehearsal, some boys started to tease Tom, and he was really annoyed at this and he asked them to stop with no avail.
I never had a class with him, and I didn't know anything about him but his name, but I sawall this and I couldn't stand it. Without thinking, I climbed over many people to get to him and then sat down next to him, in solidarity. He hit me, thinking I was yet another tormentor, but I quietly said 'You don't have to do that." And then everything stopped, and he was left in peace. And we sat there together. And the rehearsal went on.
Sorry to tell this story for fear of beeing seen as self-serving, but I thought about it again when he died, and every since, every time I checked into this website, and I hope Tom was spared from more of the same after leaving New Trier.
That was long ago, and I'd like to think it wouldn't happen again now, but then again: Social Media.
Here's to kindness! And here's to Tom for his perseverence. May he rest in power!
Brian Higgins
I remember Tommy. I will never forget the important lesson I learned from his example, although it had to be explained to me in simple terms a kid could understand, which was with patience and understanding towards people who behave in unpredictable ways. It wasn't until much later in life, after many, similar examples, that I understood the condition diagnosticly. Tommy had Asperger syndrome (AS), or another autism spectrum disorder (ASD). I feel a little guilty having participated in teasing him, but he took it in stride, and we loved him.
Richard Boyd
I have thought about Tom a lot over the years, especially one memory, and so far, I have avoided sharing it but here goes....
It happened at the rehearsal for one of those huge choral ensemble events, when the New Trier orchestra played in front of the basketball court bleachers, which were filled with rows and rows of Freshman, Sophmore, Jr. and Sr. choirs massed behind them. At one break in the rehearsal, some boys started to tease Tom, and he was really annoyed at this and he asked them to stop with no avail.
I never had a class with him, and I didn't know anything about him but his name, but I sawall this and I couldn't stand it. Without thinking, I climbed over many people to get to him and then sat down next to him, in solidarity. He hit me, thinking I was yet another tormentor, but I quietly said 'You don't have to do that." And then everything stopped, and he was left in peace. And we sat there together. And the rehearsal went on.
Sorry to tell this story for fear of beeing seen as self-serving, but I thought about it again when he died, and every since, every time I checked into this website, and I hope Tom was spared from more of the same after leaving New Trier.
That was long ago, and I'd like to think it wouldn't happen again now, but then again: Social Media.
Here's to kindness! And here's to Tom for his perseverence. May he rest in power!
Rick Boyd